we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
