Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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