dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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