i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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