trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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