Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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