We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
