Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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