If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
