hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize