Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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