Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
