Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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