He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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