I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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