All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
