how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
