he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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