Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
