My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
