jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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