He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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