I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize