so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
