a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
