I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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