the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i believe in u and ur pee
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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