Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize