Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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