yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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