i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i now understand why vodka
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
