we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
