So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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