i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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