The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
