Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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