i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
