Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
