dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
