the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
