Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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