this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
