Banned from zoo.
Again?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
