my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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