doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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