Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Where is the hickey?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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