i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
