everyone is single if you try hard enough
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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