Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We are all done wearing pants today
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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