Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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