it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
