Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
