Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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