Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
