So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
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we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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