haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
