I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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