They should really pass out barf bags in church
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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