Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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