who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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