Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He passed out mid-signature
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
