I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this just has baby written all over it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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