My friends, they love my intelligence
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
