the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
