Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
