You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
