I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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