everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
