ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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