Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
