Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
